Most of you don't know me, and honestly I think very few people actually read this, but its not for any of you, that I write, its for myself.

I have a laundry list of things that I should be doing, but seeing that I haven't written in sometime I felt inspired to spend a few minutes writing down my thoughts. Pen to paper, pen to paper, pen to paper. At some point some brilliant person made the assertion that when we write our thoughts down, that they become less of a burden, that somehow admitting them either aloud or in this type of forum, or simply in a journal it frees our mind of the weight of the baggage that we were carrying. This is precisely the reason I write.

I am not carrying much baggage at the moment. However, my mind has been a flurry with thoughts and ideas, and the prospect of bigger things, and longer journeys, new adventures and an infinitely long story. I have been picking up books, and beginning to read them, only to get a few chapters into their narrative and realize that it is not their story I wish to be reading, the story that I am so entranced by is my own. For a long time, I believed that my story was sedentary, it was stuck, immovable, it was as it is, and forever it shall remain. I realize now, that I was wrong. A life, my life is written the same way as any of the greatest novels, there is always a beginning, there will surely be an ending, but the middle, its not a narrative that is defined by one plot line, or one choice, or one single path down a long perilous road, but its a series of plots, sure they likely all end the same way, but we have the power to determine the plot of our own story. We can change the plot, pick a new path, find new things to love, or pursue and keep going.


Changing plot lines, doesn't mean that you give up what you had, or forget what you knew, to me its the idea that you have the power to choose your story. For example, in the first chapter you were cast as Cinderella, the daughter of a Duke, destined for wealth and love and happiness, by the second chapter, you've lost everything and are now living in the maids quarters of your own home, penniless and starving, and somewhere in the middle there you find yourself, fairy godmother or not, and in the end you end up, quite possibly where you were always meant to be. The story, when looked at in black and white doesn't have to make sense, what you do today, may not always bring the tomorrow you had hoped that it would, but it doesn't make it any less right or plausible.

Plausible, granted, is not necessarily what we all want in life right, the plausible idea of a life well lived or a road that will lead us where we want to be? But really, who is to say that all of the roads have already been traveled, that I wasn't meant to travel the world, to follow a map to its edges, to change hemispheres, sleep under unfamiliar stars, who is to say that we all aren't destined for adventures and lives just as grand. I have two children, and to me and for them, I think how incredibly blessed I am to have this life with them, to look into their eyes each night and appreciate the love and the curiosity and the pure magic they see in the world, and then I am reminded of what our present world looks like. I have no power to change the current way of the world, the harsh realities that plague it, but as a parent I have to think, that I still have the power to show them the wonder, to gaze into a setting sunset from a snow covered hill, to appreciate all of lives miracles down to the tiniest of details.

I want to change my plot line, I want to change from suburban housewife to world traveler, not to live in the lap of luxury but to immerse my children in the incredible power of this world we have been fortunate enough to be cast down upon. To see the vastness of the oceans, and the infinite reach of the nights sky. To embrace that I am a dreamer, and to show them, that they can be dreamers too. I think we as Americans are taught that we have to work, we must work hard, we must win, we must be the wealthiest, have the biggest house, and the best of everything. I used to think that way too, until recently. I realized that "home" is not a place but a feeling. When you understand that, that the things we have do not define our strengths or our weaknesses we realize the wealth of opportunities that we are blessed with. The chance to start anew or to trudge on as we were, only with the new idealization that it is not things that measure our success in life, but it is ourselves.

I feel as though I am rambling, and am probably the only person who can even understand my crazy brain, ha I tend to jump around in my though processes a lot. The point I am trying to make is that, we are all living this life, and we have to choose to either be stuck in a hamster wheel just running to get to the top, to then do what? Or we can set out and choose our path, find out destiny, seek out the road less traveled and learn along the way. I think it serves our children, our nation, and our world much better if we could just get back to our roots, to understand each other's heritage by immersing ourselves in each others' cultures, by enjoying what makes us all unique, and embracing that this life, this world, is truly miraculous, and we only have this one life to live it.

Is it wrong that I don't care what society thinks? I don't care what I am supposed to do, I just want to be me, with no expectations. A dorky, hot mess of a mom, who is sometimes funny, almost always clumsy, and is really really bad at responding to text messages and returning phone calls. Cant we all just accept that this is who I am, who we all are, and move the F*$@ on?! Take it or leave it. I am a hopeless romantic that wants to travel the world, unearth buried treasure, sail the high seas, dance all night, sing at the top of my lungs, love infinitely, and when my day has come, look back on a life so full, that I have nothing to regret, no stone left unturned, no part of my story yet to be completed. This is my life, and I am going to live it.

Who's going with me?